


Nightmare

by louvreangel



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Bad Ending, Dark, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Heavy Angst, Plot Twists, Relationship Issues, Sexual Tension, Smut, Swearing, a little au, slightly OOC
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-30
Updated: 2018-04-30
Packaged: 2019-04-30 08:54:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,686
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14493372
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/louvreangel/pseuds/louvreangel
Summary: It was the stolen glances at first, innocent and careless. But in time, like an avalanche, they became something else, something bigger. He knew that he must have gone insane at some point, because looking at Killer Frost and having these spine-tingling sensations all over his body couldn't be a sane man's job.





	Nightmare

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: This is a Mature Reader fanfiction, there’s some explicit scenes of sex, so if smut ain’t your thing, you’re at the wrong place.
> 
> P.S.: This was supposed to be a light T-rated Flashfrost fanfiction, I have no idea how it turned into a smut/dark M-rated fanfiction. It was a weird turn of events. Well... Hope you enjoy it!
> 
> Disclaimer: I own nothing but this fanfiction. All characters belong to their respectful owners. Plus, if I owned the Flash or the comics or the Tv show whatever, everything would be so much different—starting with Killer Frost’s character and her whole development. They aren’t serving her justice and it pisses me off. Also, I haven’t watched season 4 apart from the first episode so this is pretty much AU and slightly OOC.

 

 _The stolen glances, the moments in between the actions_  
The dice are rolled, the skeleton sit by the fork in the road  
The paths that twist and turn, the journey goes on  
  
The memories caught between the hands of time  
As she dances the dance of time  
I'm in a trance now, the sun's love rains down on her landscape  
But landscapes change  
  
My mind is playing tricks on me  
Language of fire to carve the stone  
My mind is playing tricks on me  
Images of fire to strike the stone

**_Stateless - Bluetrace_ **

xxx

Barry was acting weird, feeling weird and didn’t know why he was like that at all. Most of his teammates could tell that there was something off with the way he was acting but none of them said a word about it. They were giving him his space, knowing he’d been through a lot in the past year with everything going on. His strange behaviour wasn’t anything unexpected, as he was a man who had seen Hell on almost every world by now. It wasn’t easy to see so much and yet act like you have seen nothing at all. Everything felt heavy on his shoulders, sometimes so unbearable that he wanted to die.

But at this point, his weirdness wasn’t because of anything _Flash_ related. He, deep down inside, knew exactly what was wrong with him but he was too afraid to admit it. Ever since the day he and Iris got married, everything started going downhill. Now that they were at a point where they both had nothing for each other in their hearts—except for some respect. Their relationship was at a point where they couldn’t even stand sleeping together in the same bed, because no matter what the subject was, they would start fighting. They were small arguements at first, then in time, like an avalanche, they became fights with cruel words and their visible unliking for each other.

The Team was aware of the change in their relationship dynamic, Cisco once tried to talk to Barry but Barry refused to do so, as he didn’t want to share much detail. After all, Barry and Iris had come a long way since day one and becoming two strangers after everything wasn’t something he was willing to share or accept any time soon.

No, he couldn’t think straight. This wasn’t right and something was wrong with him. Because he was looking at _Killer Frost_ , who actually was Caitlin—one of his best friends, and thinking of all the wrong things on the planet. Looking through someone’s eyes and seeing someone entirely else was a new thing for him. Yes, she had been Killer Frost for a long time by now and they were used to seeing her, hanging out with her in missions and so on. But nowadays, whenever he looked at Killer Frost, he felt something else. Especially when Killer Frost would give him her infamous _You’re-so-gullible_ look sometimes, he’d feel a tingling sensation all over his body.

He didn’t know when this whole thing started though. He just remembered that a month ago, one night he woke up from a very wet dream and saw his not-so-loving wife sleeping so fucking far from him that she could fall off the bed anytime soon. Then he took a cold shower and went back to sleep but couldn’t silence his mind. These thoughts were crazy, insane even. Thinking off Killer Frost’s ice-blue eyes staring into his soul while running her lips through his chest was _not_ right. It just wasn’t. He had gotten used to it though, in time, he got used to having those dreams every once in a while.

And today, it was one of those days where they needed Killer Frost’s help and Caitlin was getting herself ready to turn into her. A few seconds of thinking of man murdering women every single day on the planet helped her become Killer Frost instantly. Now Barry was looking in the eyes of an entirely different woman, who looked so daring and so cold, so distant and so unreachable.

He forced a friendly smile on his face and received nothing in return from her. She just looked at him for a moment before turning her head and following Cisco’s lead to go through a bridge he created. Barry was sitting there, controlling the computer station for them, which he started liking after doing it for a few times.

Four months ago, he wanted to feel how it felt to sit down here and control everything, rather than being in the field. Iris didn’t want him to go to so many missions anymore, she wanted to spend time with _Barry_. So he did that. He even grew a beard, which he kinda liked but not really. But spending time together without solving their problems only made things worse and he started going back to missions. He missed being in the field too.

But today, the job was easy so Cisco told him it was okay for him to chill in the lab. Barry was tiring himself so much these days, he needed some time off too Cisco thought. Like always, he was an understanding guy.

They got the metahuman by midnight hours, but it went actually pretty smooth and without problem, as they knew what to do properly and the job was finished successfully. When they got back to Star Labs, Cisco told them he was meeting Gypsy and left. So did everyone else, including Iris. Barry didn’t even bother asking her where she was going, as he didn’t really care. He used to ask her back in the day, then one time, she snapped at him so bad for constantly asking her where she was and what she was doing, he stopped asking it. She could be seeing another man for all he knew. It really hurt him though, knowing that the love of his life turned into something else after marriage. Well, he wasn’t still exactly the same either. He had changed too. He became cold and distant, careless even. Iris wasn’t the only one at fault in this relationship. He had done so many wrong things too and he owned up to them. He might have driven Iris away from him without even realising, yes, but he didn’t try to fix anything either. They were both at fault, for keeping secrets from each other and not trying to fix whatever was broken between the two of them.

Suddenly, his sadness could be read from all over his face and he wasn’t able to hide it. Not that anyone was there to see it but still, he’d rather have a stronger posture to keep whilst thinking of such unsettling thoughts.

“Wow, so moody,” came a voice from behind him and he turned around so fast, as he knew who that voice belonged to.

There stood Killer Frost, still in her suit, giving him cold stares. He narrowed his eyes a little bit at her and scratched his stubbly beard. “I thought you’d left.”

Killer Frost cocked an eyebrow at him but said nothing in return. Barry became a little uncomfortable under her gaze and shifted on his feet. It was as if she could see into his mind, all his dirty dreams including them both doing incredible things.

He cleared his throat loudly and forced a smile on his face. “Well, everyone’s gone. I’m going, too. You staying?”

“Why would I?” came her instant reply.

“I don’t know. Aren’t you going to give Caitlin back?” Barry asked with a rather harsh voice. He didn’t mean to be rude but he really, really needed Caitlin back to clear his mind. He needed to see his friend, so he could remind himself once more that this _Killer Frost_ persona was just a shadow of his bestfriend. Someone who lived inside her—which sounds weird when you say it like that.

“Will you believe me if I say she’s sleeping right now?” said Killer Frost with a cocky tone.

Barry stopped in his tracks and looked at her dead in the eye. “Are you holding her captive in there or something? ‘Cause if you are—”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” interrupted Killer Frost and waved her hand. “I’m just having myself some _me_ time. She is in no rush though. Her mind is very quiet today.”

Barry kept looking at her to see some sincerity in those eyes but you just couldn’t tell when they were as cold as ice. But wasn’t that what made him drown to her in the first place? The coldness radiating from her body, both literally and metaphorically was so out-of-this-world that he couldn’t stop wanting to talk to her, to touch her, to feel the coldness under his hands. He was so aware of these thoughts that it was very disturbing at this point. Because even though he was fully aware, he was still not doing anything about it. He wasn’t even trying to stop himself thinking this way anymore. He had given up on doing that a long time ago, ‘cause he just couldn’t.

“And you _idiot_ , if you keep giving me _that_ look, someday someone’s gonna understand,” Killer Frost deadpanned and watched Barry’s eyes widening in shock.

“W—what?” he stuttered, also cursing himself inwardly. He was being an idiot right at that moment, that was for sure.

Killer Frost rolled her eyes at him. Then, without saying anything, she started walking away from him to the elevator of the laboratory. She should’ve guessed he would come after her though. He grabbed her arm and turned her around to face him but she grabbed his hand that was holding her and started freezing him. Instantly, he started vibrating to prevent himself getting covered in ice and moved away from her slightly.

“It’s not what you think,” he started off saying but was cut off once again by her.

“Do I look stupid to you?” she said with her brows knitted. “Don’t worry, Caitlin is the stupid one. She isn’t aware of anything and I’m not letting her know, so your secret is safe with me, I guess,” she said with a ghostly smile on her face, looking so smug and so beautiful at the same time.

It was then that he knew there was no going back from this. His desires weren’t unknownst by her anymore. This pretty little secret he’d been keeping inside his heart and mind was no longer a secret. It was out there in the open, like an open box, an open book. Killer Frost didn’t look like she minded the situation, or cared about it. She looked so carefree and accepting about it. For some reason that really bugged Barry.

Silence was filling the air with thickness, it was almost at a point where you could touch it as if it was something concrete. The two kept looking at each other without saying anything for a little more while, both keeping their posture straight and confident at the same time. Barry wasn’t going to look like a teenage boy who couldn’t confess his attraction to a woman and Killer Frost wasn’t going to look like an idiot.

When standing there started to seem like a stupid idea to Killer Frost, she decided it was time to leave. But of course, not without a little teasing.

She slowly took her index finger on her lips and made a hushing sound, giving him a seductive wink afterwards. This was her way of saying his secret was safe with her and it would always be.

That day made his dreams even worse and more graphic and led him to go as further as suggesting to divorce with Iris. Because he knew, fooling her and himself at the same time was a cowardly move. Iris’ fast response to it, saying _Yes, we can’t do this anymore_ , was enough for him to know that whatever love they had before was in ashes now. Their love was gone with the wind and divorcing without hating each other was the best option they got.

Everything changed with that decision.

For five months, they didn’t need Killer Frost so he never got to see her. His friendship was the same with Caitlin, so he guessed Killer Frost was really keeping it a secret.

Then one day, the three of them—Cisco, Killer Frost and Flash—went on a dangerous mission where they had to catch a metahuman with the power the control other metahuman’s powers. This man could do incredible things with his power. He could diverse Barry’s powers so that he was running and walking as fast as a turtle, Cisco was nowhere near seeing the future at that point and suddenly Caitlin was no longer Caitlin. Her deal with Amunet, to keep both her personas safe and sound was out the window. But something by accident happened, the man’s powers supressed Caitlin instead of supressing Killer Frost and that was how the team beat the man. Killer Frost, taking the chance of his surprise for using his powers falsely, froze the man and shattered him into little pieces.

She heard both her teammates yelling at her not to do that but it was too late. The metahuman was dead—obviously, and she was standing there looking so fresh yet so unhappy. She had come to liking Caitlin and they were even getting along to an extend. Living in this body as Killer Frost was a pain in the ass at first, but it hadn’t been like that for a long time. So when she felt that stinging pain in her brain, hearing Caitlin screaming at her and reaching out for her, then slowly slipping from her mind, she couldn’t hold it within her. She let out all her powers in anger, screamed her lungs out and didn’t hesitate to kill this wicked man in front of her.

Her heart was as cold as ice now—in literal sense.

When they got back to Star Labs and Harry informed Barry that no matter what psychology test he ran on Killer Frost, there was no sign of Caitlin in there. This news didn’t go well with the team and for the next few weeks, it was so difficult to accept Killer Frost. She was staying in Caitlin’s apartment under the supervision of Cisco, they weren’t the best homemates but this was their only option to make sure Killer Frost wouldn’t go berserk anytime soon.

It was difficult to accept her fully now, as they always knew before that Caitlin would come back. There was no coming back for her now.

A few weeks later, on a Monday night, Gypsy visited Cisco and Cisco wanted to spend time with her so he let Barry know about it. Barry immediately came to the apartment and knew this was a bad idea. A bad fucking idea. What the hell was he thinking? He could get Harry to stay with Killer Frost, what the actual hell was he thinking, coming here at night? Now it was a nightmare. A literal nightmare.

Killer Frost was in her black sleeping gown, which was very different from what Caitlin would wear before going to bed. It was like this house was a different house and it belonged to a different owner. This body that once belonged to Caitlin was now all Killer Frost’s and even though she didn’t look happy, she didn’t look that angry anymore either. She must have gotten used to it, of course. It’s been weeks. She couldn’t keep sulking and whining forever. This mind and body had always been her, forever, in every Earth out there. This Earth had been the only exception for it. Now, it was truly and wholely hers. It felt so surreal, so right and so wrong all at the same time.

Once Barry settled down on the couch in the living room area to watch TV, Killer Frost came after him and sat right beside him on the couch. There was a small distance between the two of them but that distance wasn’t enough for him to keep his mind clear. He widened the gap that was between them and saw Killer Frost cocking his eyebrow at him.

“There’s no Caitlin in this body anymore, _Barry_. So what’s wrong now?” she asked bluntly, his name coming out of her mouth like venom. It left a bitter taste in her tongue, thinking how much she actually despised him. He wasn’t brave enough to confront her, he was just a coward. Ever since Caitlin was gone, Killer Frost expected him to come and talk to her, soothe her pain, let her know that it’d be okay. But he was always gone. He was nowhere to be seen. He was on a mission, on CSI cases, on the streets but never by her side. Never once did he ask her how she was doing. Was this the _friend_ Caitlin had? What was he really? To her, what was he?

Barry looked into her eyes with sadness and sighed. “Caitlin’s... disappearance has been hard on all of us, Frost. Not just you.”

“Oh, _really_?” she mocked him with hatred filling up her whole body. “Is that why you’ve been the pillar of support to me all this time?”

“I couldn’t. You know _why_ I couldn’t, so let’s just not, okay?” Barry said with a cold voice and turned his head back to the TV screen.

Killer Frost wanted to say something back but nothing came out of her mouth. It was so stupid, trying to talk to this oblivious guy. She kept looking at him with her dead-looking eyes. It was as if she was scanning him all the way through. His stubbly beard was there again, he must not have shaved anytime soon. They didn’t go on missions together anymore either. She felt very lonely, like a prisoner in a cell. Looking at him now, closely, she surely knew he wasn’t going to make a move on her. Even though he was divorced, he never once made a move on Caitlin either. It was painful to wait, but it was also fun to watch him struggle. He was a nice man, _that_ was his problem.

Without thinking twice, Killer Frost closed the gap between the two of them and grabbed his chin to turn his head towards her. Her coldness hit him like a shockwave but it was no problem for him. She then moved her upper body a little more closer to him, her body stretching like a cat’s and glued her purple lips on his warm ones.

It really was a shock to him, how bold she could be sometimes. How brave and how so great at the same time.

He knew there was no point in holding back anymore, as she was demanding and he was going to comply. Suddenly, they were kissing each other like there was no tomorrow. Their tongues were dancing in a lovely rhythm, their short breaths tickling each other’s noses. To avoid her deadly kiss, he had to keep vibrating his face every now and then but it was no problem. He knew she wasn’t sending coldness towards him on purpose. This was her nature. She was designed to kill. She was a killer, a cold hearted murderess with such scary powers. He had accepted her the way she was a long time ago, yet he always acted like he didn’t approve of her methods. Because hiding behind a lie was easier than owning up to the truth. He was dark too, maybe even as dark as her. There was a side of him, deep down inside that he kept locked, that acknowledged her actions to be right. 

He was sometimes scared of himself too, as much as he was scared of the woman in front of him at that moment.

“What are you thinking?” she whispered softly as her lips found their way to his long, sleek neck. He wrapped his arms around her hips and pulled her a little upwards, to grant her better access to his neck.

“That this is wrong,” he whispered back softly but didn’t stop caressing her beautiful ass cheeks. This was something he had dreamt of for a very long time now. Now that he could live in it, he wasn’t ready to give up on it yet.

“Well,” said Killer Frost and pushed herself up to sit right on his lap. “Won’t you let me say sorry for that time when I stabbed you with an icicle?” she asked all seductively, her eyes not leaving their contact with his.

He smiled smugly. “You stabbed me twice, though. How will you be able to make up for it?”

She mirrored his smile. “I have my ways,” she said and ripped his shirt open, all in the same time wiggling her hips to turn him on. But he was already turned on, he didn’t need more seducing on that, though it felt incredibly good with her moving on top of him.

She only had her panties on, as the sleeping gown now was slipped off of her body. Her small breasts were hard and shaped very lovely, that he couldn’t stop himself staring. He dipped his head and started sucking on one of the nipples and heard her moan softly. She pushed her wet opening to his pelvis, her hands working fast to unbelt his trousers.

His hands were roaming over her body, kissing her breasts, neck, sucking on her earlobes... He was everywhere all at the same time and it felt so good. She didn’t remember the last time someone made her feel this good. Probably _never_ was her answer to that.

When they were both finally free of their clothing, Killer Frost grabbed his throbbing dick and started squeezing it a little. He was throbbing under her palm and seeing her effect on him like this felt so amazing. Barry was panting with lust, his pupils now dilated to a point where his sea green eyes weren’t visible anymore. As she kept squeezing and massaging his manhood roughly, he slid two of his fingers inside her and watched her head fall backwards. She was enjoying it as much as he was enjoying himself and that was good to know. He slid them and took them out, then slid them in again, this time roughly. She moaned and started pulling her hand up and down on his dick, feeling him growing bigger in her hands.

Barry started kissing her, whilst getting inside of her with his long boney fingers. She was so tight and was getting tighter every second, just as he was getting bigger in her hands. They were both ready to release but that’s not what they both wanted. Without breaking their kiss, Killer Frost finally took off her panties midway and let go of his dick. His dick was now touching her opening so gently, almost teasingly. They parted to take a breath and looked at each other for allowance. Oh the allowance was there, even from the start it had been there. There was no doubt of it.

He made a move as if sliding inside her but he didn’t. Killer Frost bit her lip and grabbed his head with her hands, pulling his hair ever so slightly. She pushed her hips and felt his dick on her opening again. She was so wet that if she pushed her hips a little further, he would be inside her in milliseconds anyway. But she wanted _him_ to do it. She wanted him to put it in, as hard as he could, like they weren’t going to see another sunshine together. It was so hot and she never felt this hot before. This probably wasn’t even good for her body.

That was when Barry couldn’t hold himself anymore and pushed his dick inside her vagina in a swift motion and got a taste of what it was like to be in her wet opening—or rather, got a taste of what it was like to be in Heaven. This was twice as nice than that, probably, he thought and started pushing in and out of her in fast motions, also watching her face. She had a small smile on her face but she also showed a few features of pain. He was so big and hard inside of her that she couldn’t believe it. She always thought that he would be small or thin but he was the opposite of that. He was going in her vagina all the way through and she could feel herself running to the edge.

God, it was so hot. This was making her so hot.

So unbelievably hot that she couldn’t breathe anymore.

Time was passing and Barry was losing control of anything that he had inside of him every passing second. He wasn’t aware of the fact that Killer Frost wasn’t smiling anymore. She had a look of discomfort on her face but he was too high to notice it. He was ready to cum but he knew he had no condom on him so he decided to run to the bathroom. Killer Frost was ready to cum too but she wasn’t feeling all good and well. Something was off with her body, her senses, she could feel it but she didn’t know what it was.

Right then, he went so far in her vagina, that she felt him touch somewhere that sent vibrations all over her body and that was it for her. She was seeing stars in front of her eyes, coming down from her high shaking and wanting for more. Barry went to the toilet, finished himself off and came back without Killer Frost even realising. His fastness came in handy in such times.

It was when he came back and made Killer Frost sit on his lap one more time that he noticed her hair was changing colour.

Killer Frost wasn’t feeling well. She just had an orgasm and it was supposed to feel heavenly but it wasn’t. Yes, it did feel good at first but now she knew something was definetely wrong with her.

Barry’s eyes opened wide and made her sit right in front of him immediately. Killer Frost was looking at him, trying to understand what made him look like that but she had an idea. She could hear something in her mind now, a familiar voice coming from within. A voice that she made herself forgot after her disappearance.

“This isn’t you,” Barry whispered in disbelief, trying to comprehend what on Earth was going on here.

“No, no, no, no...” started Killer Frost whispering to herself but it was too late. Now her eyes were their original warm chocolate colour and it was suddenly to look at her. Barry immediately, with his Flash powers, dressed her and himself in their clothing. He was so embarrased and so ashamed of his actions. It was unbelievable, it couldn’t be happening but it was. This was suddenly turning into a cheesy horror slash drama movie in his eyes.

“Barry?” Caitlin asked with confused eyes, her brain still foggy from being out for so long. It was like she was woken up from a nightmare, she was trapped somewhere in her own mind and she didn’t recall anything.

Barry had to swallow twice before being able to find his voice and give her a decent answer. “Hey, Cait,” he tried to say as friendly as he could, but how could he when he knew he had just had sex with this woman a few seconds ago?

Caitlin looked up and down at herself, and then Barry and tried to understand what was going on. Everything was so confusing at that moment and she had so many questions to ask. “What’s... going on?” she asked, her voice came out a little raspy, just like someone’s who had just woken up from sleep.

“Nothing. We were just hanging out,” he said, responding with the first lie he could think of. Oh, this was so wrong. He wasn’t even being honest to her anymore.

“Did Killer Frost came out? I feel tired and... I don’t know how I feel,” she said but she knew she was feeling very wet down there. Her insides were still yearning for more she could feel it, but she didn’t want to know why. She had an idea by now and she prayed that it wasn’t true. She prayed that after divorcing Iris, Barry didn’t go crazy or something.

At that moment Barry realised that this wasn’t the way to go. He couldn’t just lie to her and walk out the door, making her feel like she was raped by her bestfriend. Because from the look on her face, it looked like that was exactly how she was feeling. Barry was disgusted by himself to even look at her so he turned his head to the TV, thinking of something decent to say.

Nothing came out of his mouth.

He knew he had only one option to fix this and he knew if he didn’t choose that option, her bestfriend was going to hate him forever and probably spit on his face for giving in to Killer Frost and her schemes. He was as guilty as Killer Frost in this scenerio, maybe even more guilty. But with Killer Frost down in Caitlin’s subconscious, he had to take control of the situation. Sometimes there were mistakes that needed to be erased from existence. Not that he thought the sex they had was a mistake, but as long as Caitlin was in this body, it was a mistake.

So he had to do what he had to do.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered in a low, apologetic voice and ran out the house, running with full speed.

He was running through the city, increasing his speed every passing moment a little bit more. He was feeling the electric inside him, his eyes flashing with bolts of lightning inside them. Disappointment, anger, sadness and embarrassment was fueling him to go faster and faster.

In less than a minute, he was fast enough to see the events happening in the past. Everything was coming and going to him, in small pictures and segments in front of his eyes. When he saw the right moment that he wanted to travel back to, he started running towards it with all the strength and speed that he possessed and in a heartbeat, he was in Star Labs.

Everyone was gone, but not Killer Frost. He still had a moody look on his face but this time, it wasn’t because of thinking of his life and Iris. It was because the last thirty minutes of his life had been a fucking roller coaster and he didn’t know how he was quite feeling. This was like one of his worst nightmares and he wished to wake up as soon as possible. Living in this situation was as difficult as it was facing Eobard Thawne years ago.

“Wow, so moody,” came her voice from behind him and he found himself not wanting to face her.

“Yeah, I gotta go,” he said and ignored her all the while walking to the elevator with fast steps.

“Someone’s in a rush,” she said in a mocking voice, her cold eyes scanning him again.

He didn’t look at her. “I have to work on a case,” he simply lied and they got into the elevator. God, those ten seconds of lift journey was like his longest seconds of his life. This was a disaster, a nightmare, a plot twist, everything bad could describe his day at that moment. He felt awful and there was no forgetting this. He wished he could wipe out memories too.

“Later,” said Barry as he got out of the elevator and ran to the CSI building, without looking back once.

Killer Frost was a little confused at this behaviour but didn’t really care. She shrugged and went to a bar to drink and have some fun, as herself. Caitlin was quiet today, so it meant that she could have some time on her own. It was a good day.

_xxx_

Even after months passed, Barry never uttered a word and never again looked at Caitlin or Killer Frost, never made eye contact because he simply had no balls to do it. Caitlin asked why he was being like this a few times but never got an answer.

This was Barry’s story.

His story of how miserable he had been after that day, how he wanted to go up to Killer Frost and tell her everything. Go up to Caitlin and confess everything. Tell someone, open up his heart and say that he regretted time travelling to erase that one single moment. That moment he’d felt so good, so happy, and so did Killer Frost. Now, she had no idea of it. No memory of it, nothing. It was like Barry had dreamt of all of this and finally woken up to the reality of still living with Iris under the same roof.

It was a secret he was going to keep until his death and that was it. That was his final decision.

Then came that man—The Thinker—and destroyed Killer Frost completely.

At that moment he was a little relieved. He wasn't supposed to feel that way but he did. He could finally return to his normal self, feel a little more alive and feel like everything was going to be okay. He was lowkey happy about Killer Frost being gone.

He was happy but that never stopped him from dreaming of that night in her apartment.

It was a pain he was going to bare alone, because of his actions and choices, hence this was the consequence. A secret to go to the grave with him, on his shoulders everyday like the weight of the world.

So in the end...Wasn’t this a _nightmare_ indeed?


End file.
